Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
