whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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