I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
