he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
