shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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