who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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