this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
