I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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