Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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