she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
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I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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