well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
