I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
