I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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