when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
