I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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