sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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