New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
As shirtless as possible
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
