wrigley field is MILF paradise
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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