I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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