between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
