Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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