Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
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Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
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I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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