This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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