How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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