I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
