Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
So many bounce houses so little time
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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