That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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