He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
