ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
