I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize