I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
this boner is exhausting
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
