I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
ugly people sure do ruin things
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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