My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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