Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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