Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
