Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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