Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Send help, water and tortillas.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
my poor anus
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
