I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
should my penis look like a turkey
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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