Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
