maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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