Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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