it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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