Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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