He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Watching her eat just hurts me
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
