She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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