Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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