Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
