The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
