3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he shaved USA in his pubs
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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