she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
found the other keg... it's in the tree
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
