I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
