Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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