i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
