im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
