i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
