Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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