I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
