I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
