He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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