if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
