My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We left an ass print on the piano.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
